Every so many Fridays I’d like to do a new feature here on the blog called Freaky Friday where I get to delve into the nonsensical part of me. There’s something about removing inhibitions and just being goofy that is very liberating. It’s also exposing and that can be a little nerve-wracking. You may see a side of me that you find shocking, frightening, or even just bizarre.
Please, don’t judge me as a whole based on these posts. I am all of the above at times but never one all the time.
So, recently I had the opportunity to interiview a popular childhood icon. The coversation went something like this.
Mike Dellosso: Hi George, thanks for taking the time to speak with me. How have things been going for you?
George Porgie: Not the greatest. I made one mistake and got slapped with a label that’s followed me around my whole life.
MD: Let’s go back to that time and set the stage. You were a kid, right? And everyone called you Georgie.
GP: I guess. I mean, yeah, they called me Georgie. It was a name my mom gave me, and my aunt. Everything was Georgie this, Georgie that. Isn’t Georgie so cute.
MD: So were you okay with Georgie Porgie?
GP: No, not really. I wanted to be called George or maybe just “G” but what was I going to do?
MD: But it gets worse, doesn’t it?
GP: Don’t even go there.
MD: Puddin’ Pie? What’s up with that?
GP: My mom again. And my aunt. My cheeks were so pudgy they used to squeeze them and say they felt like pudding pie. Plus I liked to eat pudding pie.
MD: That’s just weird.
GP: Yeah, tell me about it.
MD: So what happened on the playground that day?
GP: What do you mean?
MD: Something happened.
GP: I was playing on the playground. It was recess. I loved to swing and was the first one out there so I could get the best swing. These girls came out–
MD: Do you remember their names?
GP: Sure I do. Emma, Sharon, and Lucy.
MD: And what happened then?
GP: We were alone and I kissed them. On the cheek. Look, it was no big deal. Everyone’s made such a big deal about it.
MD: Why did you kiss them? I mean, that’s kinda weird, don’t you think? Enough to frighten any girl?
GP: I don’t know. It just happened. They wanted the swings and I wasn’t about to give up the best swing. I was there first. So I kissed them. On the cheek.
MD: And what happened after that?
GP: They started to cry like girls.
MD: They were girls. Was that the intended reaction?
GP: No. Maybe. I don’t know. Look, I was a dumb kid with chubby cheeks. Geez. Talk about a misunderstanding.
MD: But that’s not all, is it?
GP: Well you know the story. Everyone does. These guys came out then.
MD: And they saw the girls crying.
MD: And what did you do?
GP: I don’t understand the question.
MD: Georgie, you ran away, didn’t you?
GP: Well wouldn’t you? I mean it was like four to one, is that fair? No. No, it’s not fair, but everyone makes me out to be some chubby wimp, kissing girls and running away from their protectors. It didn’t happen like that.
MD: No one ever said you were chubby.